Facing Friendships

As I have grown older, I have found that my inner circle of friends has become significantly smaller. There is truth to realizing that if you do not have people in your life that can love you unconditionally through your transparency, they can never truly appreciate your transformation. A greater gift it is to hold only a few solid rocks, than being surrounded by an entire quarry of ones who just don’t make the cut.

As women, one of the most difficult obstacles to face is the reality of our friendships. This is not to be confused with the act of fellowship. I am referring to those people in your life who truly know you, know what lies deep within your heart, and despite your flaws (we all have them), they continue to walk this life alongside you. As I have prayed over the message God has spoken to me this week, I feel as though this is one we could all stand to hear. The Bible is clear on what friendships were designed to do, and it is imperative as Christ followers we make an intentional effort to seek those who in turn, make us better people. In 1 Corinthians 15:33 Paul preaches to the church in Ephesus, warning believers “Do not be fooled by those who say such things for bad company corrupts good character.” In this passage, he is specifically referring to our relationships with others who deny the resurrection of Christ. However, I also believe this applies to our very relationships with fellow Christians.

Do not misunderstand what I am saying. I believe in a healthy mix of relationships with believers and non. What I am specifically implying today is in regards to fellow Christians. These relationships are held to a higher standard as we share with each other a mutual love for Christ. I ask you this, do you have someone in your life who is toxic? Do you find yourself constantly emerged within the latest circle of gossip, with no other purpose but to satisfy the flesh? One of the many signs of spiritual maturity is to know when to walk away from someone or something who has a negative impact on our soul. You are surely mistaken if you think you can associate with certain people, but not allow for their influence to slowly creep into your life. Beware, the enemy is exceptionally skilled in this process!

Proverbs 27:17 says “As iron sharpens iron, a friend sharpens a friend.” Ladies, we all need people who will challenge us, convict us, and help us to grow in Christ. We are called to hold each other accountable, while speaking truth in love. This passage emphasizes the fact that there is a mental sharpness that transpires from surrounding yourself with certain types of people. We require friends to pour into us in an effort to replenish what we are hopefully pouring out into others, Christian and non. All too often I find myself counseling other women who are devastated to find out those they thought to be a friend are nowhere to be found once the dust has settled. One of things I always encourage others with is understanding that it is a blessing to feel heartache in these situations, as you will quickly sift out the sand from the rocks.

Make it a point today to reflect upon those you have allowed in your life. Reflect upon what kind of friend you are to others as well, and make changes in the areas He is leading you to.

Pray about who it is that are considered to be your rocks, build your castle with them and allow for His waters to wash the sand away.

Stefanie Calens
Writer