thanks, mr. tailgater!

so i was driving to the hospital last night to see my little angel, baby ryan. in case you don't know, ryan is one of my best friend's baby who was born with a chromosome 2 disorder 2 weeks ago. she has beaten all the odds and by god's grace is now breathing on her own....even the doctors were celebrating! i could talk about ryan all day long on the lessons she has already taught me, but i want to go back to "my drive". the hospital is not that close, a good 45 minute drive and it's a highway drive for a good chunk (az highways are NOT my specialty...and my husband would even say that "driving" is not my specialty!) needless to say, i was so excited to get there and the drive was sooooooooooo long! so...i put the radio on and set the cruise and decided that "love is patient", so would enjoy the "quiet time" of the drive. just as i was settling into my "quiet time", low and behold, a large black escalade with limo-tinted windows pulls up behind me. it was a younger man with a blue shirt with a small eagle logo on the front. why do i know this small detail? because he was THAT close! now, it's important to share here that i was actually doing 5 OVER the limit....not as slow as i have been before (safety first!), so i felt myself starting to get annoyed at he clearly entered my car's "personal space". who does he think he is? i am going OVER the speed limit AND he had plenty of room to pass! my "annoyed" self thought, "oh i'll show him, i'll just slow down!" and then i thought, "what if he was like one of those guys on dateline that follows girls and grabs them." it was this mental battle with what i should do and the only thing that was keeping me from slowing down was fear for the alternative. and then it hit me...."no....i WAS going at a reasonable speed and he did have the option to pass. i am just going to mind my own business, continue to enjoy my "quiet time" and disregard the large black over-powering shadow that was looming quite largely in my rear view mirror. and that's just what i did. after a good 4 miles, he finally passed and didn't even give me a dirty look (shocker!). but here's what it made me think about.....why is our natural reaction to get annoyed and angry and assume the worst in others when we feel like we are done wrong? then we go on to justify our actions by our reactions and that usually means doing something "not nice" back (like...how i was gonna slow down..and show him!). the truth was, i don't even think he was annoyed at me. he choose to stay behind me and didn't offer any unpleasant jestures when he did pass. maybe he had a bad day, maybe he didn't, maybe he was just spaced out, maybe that's how he drives. it doesn't matter. what matters is that "love is patience, love is kind". i hate that that was NOT my first reaction. that escalade driver did nothing to me, yet i went from peaceful and relaxed to angry and annoyed in 1.2 seconds....who lost out here? him or me? me. but next time....it won't be me!! thanks, mr. tailgater, for reminding me of how i can "be love" better. and for the record....ryan is doing incredible and her parents are even more of a testimony to god's power and love....another story for another time.

Jeni Barbush

loveSTRONG ministries

Executive Director

www.lovestrongministries.com

be love...it's truly a gift.

i just wanted to sit and down share with those of you who have followed our journey the gift you have each given me. i have known many of you for quite some time and there are others who i have not met face to face. but however i know you is not so much what i want to focus on....it's the love i have for each of you as we all explore god together. god is love...that's what the entire bible is about. everything in it points right back to that simple statement. and if god is love, and we are made in his image, then we are to "be love"....right? it sounds so simple, but why is it we all struggle? it is because the opposite of love is SELF? and when we are focused on self, we are not focused on "being love". next time you have a negative thought towards something or someone, ask yourself, "am i being selfish in any way?" and be honest with yourself because i would bet that somewhere in between your "justified feelings" there is a tinge of selfishness looming. and the key to "loving" is first acknowledging where you can "be love" better. it's a journey to get there, and by no means am i stating that i am THERE, but i do know that as i draw closer to god and really get to know him, he fills me with love. the more i go to him, the more love he fills me with it. the more he fills me with, the easier is flows. and in this journey, i have gone to him more than ever. and therefore, he has filled me with a tremendous love for each of you. i want the best for each of you. i want you to have a relationship that fills you with love.....and from what i know, many of you do. it's that love that we all share with everyone in which others will see god IN you. you don't have to say a word about god to anyone, because others will SEE him in you if you "be love". it's hard, it's not what may come natural, but it works....it really works. the only reason i know is because of that gift i mentioned earlier that you all have given me...the power to love. i dare you to try it out as much as possible~ :)

Jeni Barbush

loveSTRONG ministries

Executive Director

www.lovestrongministries.com